It’s been a hectic, sad, emotional turmoil kind of week.
My little farmhouse that has been my home for nearly 16 years had its final episode that proved to be the end of its tenor as a dwelling.
Electrical issues that are beyond the expense of the value of the home forced my sister and me to decide we would not begin another round of repairs.
Instead, we shut off the utilities and I have moved out.
I now live in Lake County and I make the hour, fifteen minute commute down the hill to work in the morning and repeat it only coming up the hill in the evening. At least it is a beautiful drive and far less stressful than some of the commutes many other people are making daily.
It has been tough for me leaving the little farm. Oh, I knew I was moving this direction after the wedding anyway, but the emergency move threw me into a panic of sorts.
I didn’t sleep much last week, but on Thursday night I stayed in Grimes at my parents’ home.
Even though they are gone from this earth, my parents’ memory and their love remain in that house. I began to relax and to feel more at ease the minute I went there. I snuggled into the guest room with my books and my music and I suddenly felt at peace.
I was where I needed to be. I kept thinking that this house, this home filled with the memories and love of my childhood and my parents was just the cradle I needed to sleep in that night.
Friday morning I awoke with a whole new outlook. I knew it would all be OK. I knew, like everything else I’ve faced in the past years, I can do this too.
Its the loss of the farmhouse that breaks my heart. It’s not just a house. It is a beloved piece of all of our hearts. It is the laughter and the love, the holidays, the sleepovers when it was my grandparents’ home. It’s the countless fish fries and picnics held in the yard. It’s the childhood
laughter of the four of us; me, my sister Ann, our beloved cousins Tony and Tom, now gone.
It’s the peace I felt when I moved there after David died and I moved back to Colusa County. I knew I was where I belonged.
Over the year,s I made some improvements, but all the while it was wearing down.
My two grandfathers built the house together. They built it before I was born, so it has served our family for more years than I want to say.
Grandpa Charley once raised hogs there, Granny had her chickens. Later, the walnut orchard was planted. When Grandpa could no longer work the orchard, my dad bought it and the legacy continued on.
It’s been a home, a refuge for many, and a welcoming place to countless people.
I’ve convinced myself now that even though the house itself will likely be taken down someday, the love, the memories, and those moments of laughter will go on forever in our hearts.
God has been good to us. He certainly has taken care of me. As my friend Sue always says, Let go and let God.
That’s what I’m doing.
Life is good today.
— Kathy Craigo is a publicist, speaker, and life coach. She owns Kathy Craigo Media Consulting in Colusa. Contact Kathy Craigo at email@example.com.